"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Are we still banned from the library?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
