Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
