i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
