im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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