I'm eating all of the evidence.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He felt like a one man threesome
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
