tonight lets celebrate not being married
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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