im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
