So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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