A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
