Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
there's paper in my vomit.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
