I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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