Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just had sex bonerless
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
