I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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