It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
