well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
