HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
