You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
