i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
