tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
