I'm jealous of your bromance
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
