Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
