are you so shy because you have an std?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
