You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
