just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
