He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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