kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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