I hate all girls vehemently.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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