I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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