Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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