so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
birth control should be required to get into college
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize