I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
