garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
