Kiss
Puke
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
