I'm jealous of your bromance
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
