i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
