Kiss
Puke
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
