she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
