Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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