Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Randomize
