Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
