I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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