i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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