we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
