Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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