After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Randomize