Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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