I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
