he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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