that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
