Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
