Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
