You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
