Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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