I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize