dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
