we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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