Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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