she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Houston, we have a blender
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
