Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize