so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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