Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
