I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
